Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize