i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
