Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
