He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize