wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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