kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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