she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
