i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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