Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
