Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
