someone threw a dead crab at me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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