And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
