were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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