Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm at about main and main street
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
