I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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