My first STD was from a foam party
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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