I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
