Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We are all done wearing pants today
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
