Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
