If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
