dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
