Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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