i think i have herpe
just one?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
