He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
