This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize