I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
