hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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