Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize