my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize