Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
