Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
