I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize