I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
