I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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