If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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