Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
