I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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