come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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