Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
