Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
vagina is talking i cant
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
