He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
