It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
