all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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