Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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