Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
