I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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