..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
