Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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