So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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