so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
