there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
