you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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