Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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