She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize