it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
