YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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