Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
