oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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