Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
