Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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