I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
