either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
