3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
