it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.