The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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