Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
