We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
