Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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