you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize