When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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